Every life is full of events that leave us damaged. These events can affect us so powerfully that there can be a permanent change for the worse in our character that never recovers. The THINGS that damage us most are usually not money problems, career changes, or losing a house or car. Instead they are relational things. The worst times in your life are directly related to damaged relationships. If you could draw a time line of your life and you had to put in there the great times and the bad times, you might say, “Oh yeah, summer of 2007 was a bad time… but 2003 was a great time.”
What you will find is that when it was very bad in your life, your relationships were bad. We remember times when money was scarce, the roof caved in, the kids were sick and you got fired… but because our relationships were good at the time, we can now laugh about it. What makes the difference?
In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth. He created every living creature, including Man.
Then the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him.” – Genesis 2:18
Adam and Eve were in the garden and they “were naked and unashamed”. There was no shame or hiding, no fighting or bickering, just harmony and vulnerability-a healthy relationship.
All was right. There was no brokenness. Things were right with God and things were right with each other. But the Interloper (satan) entered and he tempted Adam and Eve to be independent from God.
They fell, and in their independence from God, they lost their relationship with each other, too. Death came. They lost their intimacy with each other. They became naked and ashamed. The harmony and vulnerability were gone. The trust, fairness, love, and honesty with each other were traded for alienation, unfairness, bitterness and dishonesty.
The health and maturity of our relationship with God will determine the health and maturity of the relationships God puts in your life.
I have heard people who are not right with God struggle with forgiving the people closest to them. “I just can’t seem to forgive and it is destroying my relationship with my wife,” a husband told me. But people who know they are forgiven much from God, find it far easier to forgive others because they have experienced grace and mercy from God. Jesus said it like this, “Those who are forgiven much, love much!”
And those who have been forgiven much from God find it easy to apologize. But those who never admit wrong… it’s better not to cross them.
Coming to Jesus Christ and receiving His mercy and grace changes us into the people who can give mercy to others. It is how we are wired.
Even if we have been DAMAGED by those relationships, our relationship with Jesus Christ can make us happy people, able to forgive and enjoy the ones who mean the most to us.